[LAUIL601] Tutor Feedback to First Draft

 

Feedback from Amy and Katie:

• Referencing/citing things clearer

• Shifting some sections around: Aims at the start of the introduction, art therapy definition after the introduction

• Full name and expertise of the person I'm citing

• Linking the art therapy framework to my own practical work (need to develop this further)

• Removing the art therapy misconceptions section as it's redundant, perhaps using a line or two?

• Removing paragraph titles may help with the flow of my discussion

• Developing some paragraphs further

My own observations:

• I need to be wary of my wordcount as what I submitted was far over what it should be. I submitted something along the lines of 6,800 when the maximum can be 5,500 - I just really wanted some feedback on what I was doing. I need to pair back quotes and what I want to say.

• I go between quotes and speech marks and need to be consistent in one or the other

• I capitalise Art Therapy in some cases and other times do not. I need to be consistent. 

Onto draft two...