Haiku 1: Shadow of the Past
Shadow of the past
unwanted forgotten soul
Drifting the outskirts
Vintage jigsaw piece
out of place and unfitting
Belonging nowhere
World shrinking smaller
constellated lights dimming
Sole Lonely Lightbulb
Pretty lullaby
accompaniment stirring
Remember me well
Haiku 2: On Depression
A hidden darkness
Beguiling and abating
Radiates in smoke
Paired inner anguish
Inky fingers extending
Choking with pressure
To reach out, beckon
For wanderlust awaiting
Drowning in myself
Haiku 3: On Blindness
Squinting through static
radiant flashing spectrum
Dark objects gliding
Expanding black shroud
slowly engulfing the world
Covered. Detached. Gone.
Sharp pain and stinging
face forward in position
A trapped prisoner
No measure of tears
or screams or cries, bargaining
Will ever recover
Haiku 4: On Loneliness
The heart aflutter
hammering fast to break free
from her cage of bone
Blackbird yearns to sing.
Drab wings umbrella in a
safety net cocoon
Dark eyes reveal a
spirit crushed ‘neath a pressure
Insurmountable
Him, a kindred bird
Cast beautiful silhouette
A hope, a dream, a wish
She remains unseen,
hidden to his splendour
Blackbird locked away
Poem 5: Girl Who Cannot See
Little girl who could not see
Just how much people hated thee
Disrespectful commentary
Safe haven filled with jealousy
Scornful, muddied, smeared and stained
A shock of insults spreading pain
Twisted prejudice fueling judgement
Angry shadows in their descent
Immobilized by broken glass
Snakes snapping within Eden's grass
The little girl just could not see
how ugly this world can really be
Others join the battalion
Spears and arrows, knives of hate
Armour up and join the troops
against the girl who cannot see
Waiting for the next blow
Disorientated, dejected...
Unjustified
to the girl who cannot see
Perhaps this wasn't meant to be
There is beauty in the solitary
Finding our own sanctuary
Come, girl who cannot see
Poem 6: Stroke
Three years to the day,
You collapsed on the concrete,
My world crumpled too.
Frozen in time as
Everything melted,
Teardrops melting you
Shielded and curtained
Hiding prying onlookers,
I wanted to hide
Oxygen tanks and
Blue uniformed staff circling,
My hand held tightly.
Drifting unconscious,
Body beginning to sag,
Please be okay, Mum.
Memories blurring
Our ambulance ride and
The waiting... waiting...
Numb and swollen eyes
Our lives have changed forever.
I stare at my shoes.
My mind is blank.
You're only forty-seven.
Stroke.
Three years to the day
You collapsed on the concrete,
My world crumpled too.
I've never left that
February afternoon.
Tragic looping fall.
Reflection:
• I created 6 poems during this module, one of which became an audio collaboration with a minimalist soundscape.
• I adopted an authorial practice, going beyond the visual, inspired by Peony Gent's lecture right at the beginning of the academic year. It was an incredibly powerful and inspiring visiting lecture and had such an impact on me to take a more multidisciplinary approach to making and creating.
• As art therapy taught me, it's difficult to find the words. poetry helped me find these words and to place them into a context
• I did get a bit trapped within the comfortable boundaries and system of the haiku for a while. I suppose in Tami's absence, my Guide Dog who was operated on and recovering - and I was struggling without her, I needed some form of comfort. Writing became that but I settled into what worked.
• As Art Therapy taught me, it's difficult to find the words when we are going through traumatic experiences, to reach out to other people for help. Poetry helped me find these words and to place them into a context that I could contain.
• What could I improve and do better? I could have audio recorded these and made them into a series. My voice is powerful and conveys how I feel, rather than just words on a screen. This could be something to focus on after I graduate perhaps. I can post them onto Youtube, bandcamp, audioboom, soundcloud, instagram... The platforms are endless. Collaborating once again with audio soundscapes to bring them a different dimension.
• I need to try not to fall into haikus and familiar poetry systems to see what else can be achieved with wordplay and to keep challenging myself.
• Partnering these with my abstract expressionist paintings gives them context and it becomes something very powerful. They could exist within a publication.
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